Dear Saudi King Abdullah,

Word up. Nice job on your pardoning of a teenage girl of her penalties for being gang raped. Still 'convinced and sure that the verdicts were fair'? Jackasses. Please use this situation as a way to enact judicial and sentence reforms. You need to stop hurting women.

It is good that you acted (somewhat) on her behalf, and I am grateful for any scraps of reason out there.

Warily,
The D.L.

Dear Halliburton/KBR,

I will be brief. A true list of grievances would take more time and coordination of materials than I currently possess, but many of these are already fairly well-documented. Of Course, when DeWine and Voinovich voted against independent committee hearings on contractor fraud in Iraq, I wanted to punch them in the face (not unusual).

How fervently I wish for for legal penalties to unfold swiftly against you, completely, and with devastating impact. Perhaps until that point your employees in countries other than the U.S. will stop committing egregious crimes that you cover up in the name of protecting yourselves from further lawsuits. USING the U.S. MILITARY. Believe me, I hope that our representatives push for keeping corporations and those working for them abroad to fall under the purview of U.S. law, but if that doesn't happen you are not therefore excused from acting against that which is ethically imperative. Because I will tell you what, Halliburton-- if you don't, there will be more to ruin your day than the helpless muckracking of fantasy military forces created by loony bloggers. Not that it shouldn't already be ruined by guilt and self-loathing, but if you felt guilty I'm guessing you would allow victims of crime to do crazy stuff like make phone calls and receive proper medical attention. You wouldn't deny them food and water for twenty-four hours. Right?

Right?

I'm also guessing that if your last name was Jones, and your daughters name was Jamie Leigh, you would be very seriously considering a militia of your own.

Doesn't it literally make you sick? It should.

We cannot have you lawless assholes running around the middle east and elsewhere-- it is insane (do you co-host 'How to construct plausible deniabilty' seminars with Blackwater? Roll dice using the last few souls you've eaten as ante?)-- be decent. War profiteering, however constant and seemingly essential to those savages who revel in it, is gross.

Buckets of Weltschmerz,
The D.L.

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

A fight exists in me between peaceful negotiation and aggressive intervention. Overall, I'm a peaceful negotiation supporter, but it often lacks immediacy. It does, however, avoid the shiny-eyed militarism of aggressive intervention. Mmm, but results. So fast. Too fast? What about a small unit-- not mercenary, or anything-- of idealistic military talent with shared views that could be described as humanistic. Would you join such a group? We would do stuff like free people from the slavery of human trafficking, save lives, superhero action, but extremely quiet, invisible superheroes. I'm pretty sure it's not right, but man, it really likes to present itself in elaborate detail when certain circumstances of life are glimpsed.

This is an issue that I struggle with, so please think carefully on your possible commitment.

You will have to possess an almost delusional sense of idealism about your world, and enough bitter cynicism so that no one else hates you. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
The D.L.