Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Dear smokinggundotcom,

You people are fucking hilarious. To wit: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1031062reno1.html

A very serious removal from reality. Yes? Yes. If I get all craaazy drunk tomorrow, is it cool if I have my six-year-old niece drive for me? She's smart. Crazy smart! Smart enough to be my new driver.

This guy set precedent by using his seven-year-old boy as a designated driver. Child endangerment? My ass! That child is learning valuable lessons. Like how to drive his drunk father-- or any fucking person you could relate to this sense of abandonment of the self-- around. This boy probably did a better job! Did he have the proper training? Children should learn to drive cars-- tie ties, pour martinis, and discuss anything. Seriously! If only we could achieve this minimal goal without the repurcussions of ill-doing (or ill-seeming, in any event). Alas. It is not to be. Here's to you, good son.

Terrific,
The D.L.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

but this is the very thing that sets us apart from europeans. we shelter our children from reality, all the while feeding them a caricature of the world through media and entertainment. god bless america the secular state!

The D.L. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Benny said...

Now I would not leave a comment like that, but if I were the kid in that story here's what I would say to my family the next day:


"Are you drinking this shit so's to escape from reality? Me, I don't need this shit. I am reality. There's the way it ought to be, and there's the way it is. Dad was full of shit. Dad was a crusader. Now, I got no fight... with any man who does what he's told. But when he don't, the machine breaks down. And when the machine breaks down, we break down. And I ain't gonna allow that... in any of you. Not one."

Benny said...

Now I would not leave a comment like that, but if I were the kid in that story here's what I would say to my family the next day:


"Are you drinking this shit so's to escape from reality? Me, I don't need this shit. I am reality. There's the way it ought to be, and there's the way it is. Dad was full of shit. Dad was a crusader. Now, I got no fight... with any man who does what he's told. But when he don't, the machine breaks down. And when the machine breaks down, we break down. And I ain't gonna allow that... in any of you. Not one."

dr von drinkensnorten said...

alfredo martinez, worst person in the world 10/31/2006!

The D.L. said...

i really do think children should be taught to drive. preparedness. damn. it.

dr von drinkensnorten said...

you're cute when you're snarky

The D.L. said...

thanks. you too.