Dear Ryan McPherson,

You are an asshole. It hurts me to use a word like "dear" in this address, but I appreciate a sort of formality you are likely unacquainted with.

When you were in high school, and had the first glimmer in your beer-bonged little brain regarding your "Bumfights" series, was it a general misanthropy that lead to this idea? Too many video games? Rock music? I love the rock music, but it has never lead me to pay a homeless person five or ten bucks to do horrible things to themselves. When you sold the rights (for 1.5 million dollars) did you find the person whom you encouraged to pull out a tooth (with pliers), and reward them handsomely for your entertainment?

The New York Times Magazine (8/6/06) wrote that, according to the producers, it became the "fastest-selling independent video series." Was it your idea to encourage viewers to "submit 'ruckus' footage of their own?" Did you imagine those Australian boys would kill someone? Being consumed by a fire some kids set to your tent can't be all bad, right? Or the Canadian assault, or the four young men in Cleveland who snuck up on homeless people and shot them with stun guns-- the Times says you are "unapologetic." That you described your schlock as "fresh and new."

It should be said that there is nothing either "fresh" or "new" about what you have started. I think the word you were looking for is "schadenfreude", and sadly, it is neither fresh, nor new.

At the article's printing, only one formerly homeless man has settled a lawsuit with you.

I suppose you can't be blamed for it's popularity, and you can't be blamed for the money jackasses around the world have poured into perpetuating such an elemental indignity. You can be blamed for your coldness, for your part in this ongoing business of hatred and violence. So if you, or the "Bum Hunter" wish to release your current addresses, perhaps we can have a little fight of our own.

En garde,
The D.L.